Jumping the Pond

Wednesday: 

This will be the first of many summer blogs, to not only ease the heart of my mother but to make my self exploration public, as I leave for Europe alone in no less than eight days. The days almost seem like they are surreal as the moments pass by and my adventure seems to come closer and closer. There is no doubt that I am slightly frightened of the unknown and hope to find out more about myself than I do about the worn architecture of Western Europe. In some sense I wish everyone was coming with me, but in reality I didn't allow myself the possibility of a traveling companion. I understand that there things in life that you cannot force and some things that you need to make your life full of substance. And this endeavor abroad seems to fit into both of those categories. At times I feel that my choice is a bit irresponsible and then my youth kicks in. These are the most free moments of my life and I am choosing to acknowledge them. 

So I guess right now all I do is wait and make sure I have the essentials; toothpaste, underwear, moleskin journals, a pen, my duct tape wallet, and enthusiasm (which I am not lacking despite my mother's intentions). Everyone always says "Oh my god, you're going to have the time of your life!" and I really hope they are right. I think even if I come back disappointed in things that I saw or the people I met, I will come back something more than I am right now. I think that is possible; I hope that is possible. I am not going in vain. I feel like I'm looking for something but I don't exactly know what it is or how I will find that. I will miss everyone. My friends and my family have done nothing but support me in this attempt at manhood and I can only thank them for that. I will do my best to explore and live out the experiences they are not able to have at the moment. I will push the boundaries of my father's jealousy and post pictures and continue to embellish on the moments that I will encounter. So even though many of you cannot join me, you will be with me as I go.