Aye to the Shores of Americay

Saturday:

So here it is. Its over. Its done and I'm not sure how to feel about it all. There are moments in life that really stand out and make a dominant advance in the maturation of your life and I believe that this endeavor has been something close to that. As I sit in an internet cafe in downtown Dublin next to a Peruvian woman screaming into the microphone of her computer as she is on Skype with her mother, I realize that I have put myself into the most uncomfortable situations I have ever been in. And the funny thing about it all is that all of it was on purpose. I intended to see myself in difficult situations with people who really make you feel like your skin is itching and somehow I figured that it would all come together in a lasting piece of the puzzle called my youth. And I think it was a success.

There have been moments when I sat in a hostel bed with no one who speaks English around me and I have never felt so alone. There have been moments where I felt nothing but companionship and friendship from people who I had met nearly twenties minutes before they bought me two rounds of Guinness because they said that I should see Ireland the right way. Last night I sat in a pub next two a few girls from Indiana on my left and a guy that was so drunk his pony scrunchie came out because he was headbanging to the fiddle strumming 'Galway Girl'. I sat back and I closed my eyes and was elated. I had made it through what seemed at times to be some of the most difficult things I have had to endure for moments like that. It was the closest thing to an explanation of why my family is the way it is.

I look forward to coming home because there are things that I miss that I never thought I would and some things that I left knowing that I would long for them like no other. Theres that thing about being home that everyone in a way takes for granted until you've been so far away that all you want is to do is smell the breeze of the ocean and the hyperion plant mixed together because thats what home smells like. You want to listen to a stupid argument at the dinner table between your brother and your mother about how Mr. Kerker's political views and perspective of women's rights are not abnormal. All you want to do is wrestle with your little brother when he is getting ready for a date and have your mother clench her teeth so hard you can hear them grind as she spits out words of rage trying to pry you away from each other. I don't think that most people have that vision of home, but thats the world that I have left behind and I shall be returning to rather soon. Its not perfect in any sense but its what I see to be normal and I would find it nothing less as I grow older.

There are a few things that I learned about myself since I have been here.

1. I find that when I am forced to, I can be one real sonuvabitch to anyone who gives me the raw end of a deal.
2. When forced to, I can use any public bathroom no matter what shape/size/race/smell. When you have to shit, you gotta do what you gotta do. (Yea mom I said that).
3. I cannot stand Polish meth adicts.
4. I am able to go a few days without eating if I keep myself busy.
5. I have become pretty decent at haggling with Italians.
6. The moment the music starts, is the moment I start dancing.
7. The English countryside looks much better when it is accompanied with the Simon and Garfunkel Greatest Hits Soundtrack.
8. Laker basketball has become an obsession. I have become one hell of a fan.
9. There is not one black woman in France who has real hair. (Thats not really about me, I just thought it was important to throw in).
10. Making decisions spur of the moment is better than waiting and losing your opportunity to make one at all together.

So I leave for the airport in a few hours where I will sit and wait for the morning. I have a little less than 36 hours before I am actually home. I'll be happy to see everyone and I couldn't have done this without my friends and especially my family. My Mom and Dad despite their differences have agreed on the same thing for the first time in a while. They both constantly supported my decisions and have had my back since I started. Its been a hell of a ride and I'll hopefully do this again in a few years. We'll see. I'll see you all soon. Thanks.